Case Number 47559386

My trusty ol' laptop has had a recurrence of his congenital logic-board weakness. Here's a little lesson I learned, and I'm passing it on to you. Don't just take a bus to the nation's capital assuming they can make everything wonderful. At least, you know, phone ahead or something.

I assumed that when I walked in the door they'd take the machine from my hands, smack it sharply against the wall, and hand it back to me in perfect working order. I thought that's what being an Apple Approved Service Centre meant.

In fact, the best bid I could find was "We'll book you in for the 17th of May". Other service centres- and I visited quite a few- indicated that they had waiting lists up to the time that the Earth was swallowed in the swollen death-throes of our blood-hued sun. Give or take two weeks.

I went home dejected, but with the help of this transport planner, and the judicious e-mailing I should have done before, I have concocted a daring plan that involves Hemel Hempstead. Wish me luck.

Much more has been happening, of course, such as my new-found ability to cook a meal that is unrecognisable and yet strangely delicious. But that's a story for another day.

you said the air was singing