Geekin' Part Two

A little while ago I promised you I'd talk about character classes. So I am.

If you've ever played an RPG, you know what I'm talking about. Nearly the first screen that you're going to see when you start playing invites you to picture yourself as a barbarian from the frozen northlands, or a half-elven mage, or similar. Not incidentally, this has caused friction between me and my friends before, as they go for whatever class gives the most smash-things points, while I'm agonizing over whether I can really identify with a halfling blacksmith and creating elaborate back stories about how my character came by his skill in herbcraft. It's a much more intense experience for me. I don't get my chief enjoyment from laying the smackdown on some punk-ass zombies- it's all about the manifestation of my personality in another space, another world. It's about total immersion. My polygonal self has to represent my protein self, and this is where the agonizing comes in.

Take that archetypical Fighter. On one hand, yes, I like that whole "Ragnar Lodbrokk*" ruggidity. Ruggedness. Ahem.
* Ragnar Lodbrokk was the viking king of York. His name might be loosely translated as "Ronald Badtrousers". Seriously.
Thing is though, that I'm an intelectual. I avoid throwing things whenever I can, because that's an embarrassment for me. Honestly, I could play a master of swordplay. But who would I be fooling?

Then you've got the Scoundrel- the master of the dark arts, the shape in the shadows. Of course, there's that "Silent movement? You can't even get a glass of water without waking up the house" argument. Secondly though, I'm just a big old bleeding heart, always have been. "Dark side points" is an alien cry to me.

Merchant? Well, as you know, I'm not what you'd really call a capitalist.

Cleric? Well, now, this suits my brain-working heart-bleeding criteria right down to the ground. No doubt, I do like sending out glowing green stars to heal the wounds of my comrades. Why, though, is it always a "Cleric" or a "mystic"? Medecine got where it is by ignoring mystery and religion. I don't want to be a priest, and I certainly don't want to be a shaman. You don't get anywhere by pointing your wand and wishing. You have to think tough and find out what works.

I'm a physicist. At it's most poetic level, I'm weighing and manipulating the universe with the light of my understanding. I see the scales that tip the affairs of the world, and seek for exactly the right place to apply pressure.

There's one class left to discuss.
Black Mage.

I conclude that for someone like me- a scientist, a socialist, an atheist and a pacifist- the only real choice is to be compelled by the power of Evil.

Hey, it looks like McCarthy was right after all.

Song in my head: "Another Brick in the Wall, part two" by Pink Floyd