You Must Never Break The Chain

By and large, I hate forwarded chain emails. Anyone who's read The Selfish Gene will look at them in a new way. They're the cultural equivalent of viruses. They contain nothing except enough code to get themselves replicated and induce mild symptoms of annoyance and superstition. Actually, that's probably one of my pet hates- superstition. If someone threatens me with supernatural retribution if I don't pass on an inspirational joke about rabbits to all my friends, then you can guarantee that I'll say "Deleted (Flash animation link?)". Indeed, I'm one opf those people who run under ladders, cavalierly throw salt all over the place, and stamp on black cats. Er, not literally, of course. Dr Dawkins has the daily horoscopes, I have my chain emails.

Then again, there is a genre of email that portends to bring groups of friends closer together by asking you a whole load of questions like "Vanilla or chocolate." I don't think "portends" is the word I meant to write there. I was going to post the last one of those I filled in here, but then I thought "No, Nathan, that would be vacuos space-filling to make you feel like a columnist, or something".

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Make a wish!!!









Really, go on and make one!!!










Oh please.... they'll never go out with you!!!











Wish something else!!!

















Not that, you moron!!!













Something else! Quick!!!











Is your finger getting tired yet?









STOP!!!!

Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish.

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if
you don't send
this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be attacked by a
mad goat and
then thrown off a high building into a pile of garbage. It's true!
Because, you
know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is
TRUE!!

Really!!! Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending
them a stupid
chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for sending
them a
stupid chain letter.

*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a
stupid chain
letter.

*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a
stupid
chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.

*20 to 674,951 people: 20 to 674,951 people will be mad at you for
sending
them a stupid chain letter, and will napalm your house.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

Help protect your PC with anti-virus protection when you sign up for MSN 8 .

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I'm afraid I can't claim credit for that one.

Oh wow, I just cliked on Homestar's Email button for the first time.

Song in my head: "Last Stop: This Town" by eels and "You Must Never Break the Chain", or whatever it's really called, by, um, Fleetwood Mac?